Approach Anxiety; THE EXOTIC dancers imaginary hurdle

Be honest; How many times have you sat in a club and ignored a potential customer because you had approach anxiety; only to have another dancer approach and get the dance?

The voices in your head maybe saying;
 “I don’t know what to say.”
“I'll probably get rejected.”
“ he does not have money”

For newbies strippers; you may not be natural or comfortable approaching people at first. But with practice, you will soon discover that, the enemy is not actually other people. It is you!  When you change what you think about other people, then the way think about other people changes.

In exotic dancing and in life; Resistance is part of the game. The first thing you need to learn in the stripping game is that rejection is not personal. To be a successful dancer you need to face your fear.  To eliminate the fear, you need to do the very thing you fear because most fear is in all in your head.

Many new dancers are afraid to approach customers because they fear rejection. Here is a little secret; The customer is expecting you to approach them.  When you go to a restaurant, you expect the waiter to approach your table. You get annoyed and complain if the waiter does not assist you.

In a strip club the customer is expecting to be approached by dancers. It is normal and an expectation. If you worked as a waitress and you approached a table and asked them if they would like a drink and they said not now, maybe later or we fine thanks, would you be offended?

I doubt it. What is the difference?

IN a strip club. you approaching is the expectation! You are in a strip club ant that means guys are expecting you to approach them. That is why many men go to strip clubs. They don’t have to approach girls. The girls come to them. That is part of the fantasy. They don’t have to build up the courage or get rejected. They don’t have to do the work that means unfortunately you have to do the work.

I have often heard customer complain because no dancers approached them. They came to the club to get a private dance and after 45 minutes not one girl approached them. On the other side of the bar there are a newbie wondering; why she is not making money?  

She is failing to approach customers because she is afraid of rejection. The good news is the fear of rejection is an irrational fear. If someone rejects your approach are you going to die?

No one is watching you approach! No one is judging you and no one cares! They are just as worried about being judged and criticized as you are.

When approaching a costumer; Let go of your outcome, of getting the dance or make a money. If you want nothing out of the interaction other than a conversation, you have a 100 percent chance of succeeding as soon as you open your mouth.

A rejection is not who you are as a person. It is simply feedback on something you did! Instead of being outcome dependent, be learning dependent. There is no such thing as failure only feedback.In the stripping industry, the only failure is not approaching.

There are more customers than you could possibly imagine, that would love to meet someone just like you! Don't worry if you're shy or nervous when approaching; customers will are often be nicer to you because of it.

When a customer is rude, and it will happen from time to time. Don’t act as if things are a big deal; it is no big deal! Don’t complain and don’t take it personally. He may have issues or problems bigger than you; that you are not aware off. Always say “pleasure meeting you!”  Then move on. Always maintain a positive and open attitude.

Here are some Fun come backs you can use When the customer is rude:

Wow you tough I am hiring you as a body guard. Basically, if any one touches me and they aren’t on your list you get to throw them out.

I like You; You have a hard exterior, but I know you just pretending. Inside you a delicate little softy. Don’t worry your secret is safe with me.

That’s it! We are breaking up! Our 15 grandchildren are going be devastated.

Most people have been raised to be polite. When your approach is non-threatening, non-needy and you demonstrate value; there is no rational reason for rejection. Shyness is non-threatening, so even if you appear to be shy, you can leverage your shyness to your advantage. We all have shyness alive inside us and your shyness may allow the customer to empathize and he may go out of his way to be nice.

Approach with the attitude of “I am a person of value and have something to give” instead of what can I take or I want a dance! When you approach customers, approach as if you don’t want anything, you only want to give them something! When you approach you want to have the same casual attitude as if you were asking for the time or for directions. It is no big deal because you are the prize; you have something to give! 

It is a numbers game, the more you approaches you make, the greater your success will be. The more approaches you do the easier it becomes. Once you have warmed up, your next approach will be a both fun and stimulating. You miss 100% of the shots you never took!

Persistence is the name of the game but don’t confuse persistence with being rude, needy, begging, arguing or being creepy! You don’t like needy desperate people and neither do your customers. 
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Remember life is more fun when you open your mouth! Guys just wants respect. When you give them respect they will respect you too! Remember stripping is a numbers game! Just do it! Because the pain of letting yourself down is much greater; than anything someone else could say.